Down With The Sickness
by Alastor Vega
Summary: There are certain things that vampires should never eat. Really. Don't eat them, thay are bad for your health. A little crack. Twilight bashing. And AlucardxSeras.


**Man its been a long time since I written anything from Hellsing. I do not know where I was going with this. It seem like a mish mash of stuff. And sorry for any spelling or grammar mistake. But I hope you still enjoy it.**

When you work for an organization like Hellsing, you're expected to handle the supernatural and strange. You're definitely going to face vampires and their legion of ghouls. Maybe you be fortunate enough to even battle werewolves. As rare as they are today. And hey, you might have been one of those soldiers who had to face that ancient Mummy/Pharaoh who tried to force your leader to be his queen. And which ended with a destroyed museum*. But the current mission that the ancient group had to face was definitely one of the weirdest things they ever heard,

Recent reports in the media has spread that the local zoo has been infested what people are saying with 'zombie animals.' This being link to recent events of their captive animals disappearing every month or so. So Sir Integra sent in her vampires to investigate and eliminate any ghoulish beast and the vampires responsible for this bizarre act.

And that's what former police officer Seras Victoria and former count Alucard did. They encounter the ghoul animals. Made up of lions, tigers, bears, and lambs, and even a monkey or two. But even though the undead beast strength were multiply by their transformation, they were no match for the vampire master and his fledgling. So they started to destroy the mindless beasts. Sorrow emitting from the British vamp as she blast away the poor creatures.

_What kind of heartless beast would do such a horrific act? _She thought as one of her shell from her Harkonnen ripped through the flesh of a baby deer. Her ruby eyes showing regret at she watch the fawn life pass all.

It took nearly ten minutes for them to get rid of the them But once that was over, their nose caught a scent most foul. The smell actually made soggy garbage left in the open sun to dry smell like roses. An that smell did not come from the now decaying animals. So the vampire lord and his bride followed after the scent. And what they saw as they got to the location thrown them for a loop.

Sitting around a makeshift bonfire were eight 'vampires' feasting on carcasses of wolves. It really was a disgusting sight. Their was no artistry in their feeding. They were gluttons to their own hunger. It controlling them and not the other way around. But what really annoyed the true night walkers were that they were sparkling. Utterly Revolting. And surprisingly it was the blonde bombshell to make the first move as her shadow arm sliced the head off of three of the fakers. Mountains of blood bursting out of massive wound and spraying on the other vegan vampires. The unexpected action caused the rest of the cretins to move away from surprise and fear. Now looking at the glowing red eyes of their executioners. So they ran. Ran away like little rats. Pathetic.

The vampire lord smirked at the cold blooded nature of her childe. Please that she didn't show no remorse for these ingrates. And so as to not be out done by her, the demon king fired two rounds of his silver bullets at one of the coward. Laughing as his body exploded from the contact. Blood and guts flying around.

And so they chase them into the night. Seras going after the other three while Alucard dealt with their 'leader'. Who was pathetic for even a FREAK. He look like one of those pretty boys who had all looks but non of the brains. And even then his looks was inferior compare to other true vampires And now that he was close enough, he found out that the stench that they smelled early was coming directly from him*. Alucard look at poor of a excuse of a vampire in disgust as he crawled way from him like a worm that he was. And so to stop this , the ultimate vampire crushed both of his legs with his own feet. Smiling sadistically as the pathetic creature screamed in pain as he lost his limps. Blood oozing out.

"You know," Alucard began as he brought his giant boot on top of the pretty boy's chest. "for all the fakers I seen in my undead life, you people really are the most pathetic bunch I ever saw." As he shoved the Jackal into his victims mouth. Whose eyes widen in fear.

"Master, the rest have been silence.' Came the voice of the vampira. Who was carrying the disembody head of a of the female.

The fallen prey eyes went bigger when he saw the bloody body part. Which didn't go unnoticed by the red devil

"I'm guessing that the head there is your mate." Alucard smiled when the worm stiffen from his words. "Well too bad you wont see her in the after life." He finished as a giant hound sprouted out of his body and devoured the pathetic being whole. Not leaving any trace of him.

Which unfortunately for him was very bad choice.

It seem that the worm did not set well for the former count's body. For it seem that the vampire lord contracted a virus from the faker. Most likely the body not handling the animal blood that was store in the worm's body. Some of the symptoms including the chills, sneezing uncontrollably and vomiting blood. But the worst parts were that his desire to kill and his sex drive were greatly diminish and that the taste of human blood taste bitter to him. And that include the sweet taste of her Master and his fledging.

And so the Leader of the Hellsing organization forced the vampire king to bed. With the police girl order to take care of him.

"That basterd. I should of blown his fucking brains instead." Alucard in his Girlycard form said angrily as he reconnect his arm back into his socket(another side effect). She/he laying down on Seras' bed. A cold compress on his head to cool down his fever.

"I'm so sorry Master." Seras said as she stuck a needle with blood into his arms. The only way to give him the proper nutrients without him gagging ."But I think you shouldn't ate something that smell so bad."

The little vampire was about to say something but a sneezing fit caught him off guard. A small trickle of blood coming out of his mouth.

The female vampire not liking to see her master in such a state, sat next to him. Her arms wrapping themselves around him. Bringing his head close to her gracious breast and stroking his silk locks lovingly.

It really was a strange sight to witness. The maniac vampire being comforted by the gentle maiden

"I think you actually enjoy taking care of me." Alucard said as an uncharacteristic blush appeared on his cheek. Actually feeling peaceful in the arms of her fledgling. _Damn virus._

"That's not true Master." Shock that he would say something like that.

"I'm sorry. What the fuck? I don't say sorry." Anger at his uncharacteristic behavior. "If I ever meet more of those shit heads vampires again, I'm going to brutalize their whole species.. I kill the males. Violate the women. Then kill them. And if they have children….

"How about I read you a book." Not liking where this conversation was going now.

The now little vampire calmed down a little. "Ok" As he cuddled the body of her caretaker.

"Ok, lets see what we have then." As she use her shadow arm to get a book out of one of the shelves. "How about _Salem's Lot_ _by Stephan King_?*"

A nod from her little Master indicated that she pick the right book.

"Ok then." As Seras got herself more comfortable on the bed and started reading.

After an hour of reading from the horror King, the British vampire felt the slight nod of Alucard's head on her shoulder. Sleep now succumbing to the Master of mayhem.

Seras put the book away and moved covers closer to their bodies. Her delicate arms wrapping more securely to the ill vampire. She also lay Alucard's head on top of her breast.

"Good night Master." As she gave her dark savior a kiss on his forehead and then resting her chin on top of his ebony lock. Her ruby eyes closed shut and sleep taking them both.

_A couple months later at an airport._

"So that's two tickets to Volterra, Italy*." Said the young flight attendant as she handed the slips of paper to a young, beautiful blonde woman. Whose arms was wrapped around a tall dark figure with long black hair.

"Thank you." The British woman said.

"So are you two on your Honeymoon?" The comment making the small blonde to blush.

"Not entirely. Its mostly a business trip." The dark figure said as his mouth stretch into a evil smirk that cause the poor attendant to shiver in fear. " Avery important business trip." Now laughing evilly at his comment. Which made her even more scared.

**Don't violate them Alucard, you might get a STD. That be bad. Originally the vampires here were just going to be Twilight-esque, but I decide they were the actual Cullens. Minus the their daughter. I feel like I'm going to use her in a future plot. And if Alucard felt ooc character, blame it on the Twilight Virus. And If Seras was a little too violent, come on they made her shoot Bambi. Evil Cullan.**

**1: Just a random event for Hellsing.**

**2: Suppose to be a jab that the actors of Twilight looked like they haven't showered in months.**

**3: I don't know what Alucard would enjoy reading. So I pick a Stephan King's book. Which also has vampires.**

**4: That's where the "leaders" of the vampire race in Twilight live. Blood Bath. Just don't drink it.**

**Well I hope you enjoy it and have a nice day.**


End file.
